doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
