I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
