so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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