Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
