I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
