i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
