question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
