...so i touched it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
