yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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