Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
COCAINE IS GR8
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
