just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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