marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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