maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
