He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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