Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
