did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
