Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
