my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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