yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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