i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Randomize
