I feel great
I just peed on a car
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
