we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
