walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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