She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
