Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
