Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
