haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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