ugly people sure do ruin things
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
