I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
