I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
