Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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