I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
