when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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