i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
someone threw a dead crab at me
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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