All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
