Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
