Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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