Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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