found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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