im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
