I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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