yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
