just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
vagina is talking i cant
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
