we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
