some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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