also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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