I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
