i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
