I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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