I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
