Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
